Hi. I miss you.
So lately, I've been trying this new thing. When I wake up, I take a deep breath and say:
"Hey, you know what? Today's gonna be a good day."
So far, it's been working splendidly. But today, it didn't go so well because I woke up to a text from my mum. It was about part of the application that I need to submit. About eight messages came in telling me I was irresponsible and asking me 'why are you like this?'.
I hadn't had much sleep and was looking forward to waking up late after having to get up early every day for the past week.
I think she was justifiably angry and that it was all warranted, but I was at a point where I couldn't take the scolding.
It was hurtful, and there was nothing I could say to make it stop.
All I did was wait for her to finish, told her I was going to make the call and dialed Anne's number.
"Hi. Um. Can you talk?"
Then I talk-cried for fifteen minutes.
Is what happens when exhaustion really gets to me.
I felt a bit better after that and went to have a look at the stuff I had so I knew exactly what to ask for. Turns out, I already had the thing I wanted to get. So I called my mother to tell her, but she didn't pick up. She was teaching. So I called dad and told him and he said 'okay' and I went back to sleep.
The squish came by for a teeny weeny bit, making things better. :)
When she left for class, I went back to sleep.
I got up again at around three and started working again. Popped down for some nutrition while I was at it.
And now I keep repeating that today is gonna be a good day.
And maybe, just maybe, I'll believe it.