Wish I was there...

*sigh*

As most of you already know, there was a football tournament today. One that I couldn't attend. Trust me, I want to be there. Caught in the rain? Injuries? Loss? So be it. I would rather be there and experience all those things with you guys instead of here, dry and safe at home.

From what I hear, the scores are not brilliant at the moment. I've got two of the three results:

3-0 to Alice Smith (A team)
2-0 to GIS

I'm waiting for the next set. The game was played exactly an hour ago. Well, that's when it was supposed to be played, the rain might have changed things.

I am so restless here at home. This was my ABSOLUTE LAST tournament and I am sitting it out in front of calculus. I am irritated, angry, upset and slightly gutted at this fact. It sucks that I can't even be there to cheer them on. I am here instead sending out text messages asking how things are going. But I'm not pathetic enough to go get my jersey out the closet and stare at it longingly...

I don't pity myself if that it what you are thinking. I honestly don't want your pity either. I just want to make it clear that I did not CHOOSE to sit out what is possibly the last game of the year. If I actually had the choice, I would be on that field with you people.

I fought for it you know. I fought. Presented them with ALL the reasons I should go, but guess what. I lost. Maybe they just don't see it the way I do. THE LAST ONE. It's not a game anymore. You know what they suggested? To play in college or uni. It's so far away. I just held it all in. Nothing I can do.

Believe me when I say I have had enough 'I hate you' s. Really. I would appreciate it if you guys stopped. [more than one person has said this to me] Are you seriously that selfish that you are gonna blame something like this on me? What is the reason may I ask? Why do you hate me? Cuz you are gonna lose? Wow. THAT selfish huh? The only reason you want me there is because I might be able to help you guys win? HA. Then I don't wanna be there. Even if I was, how much can I do as one person? You all have to work together and aim to win.

Don't apologise if you have said 'I hate you' to me for this reason. Don't. Because I know that you don't really mean it. But think about it and what you are actually telling people about yourself. I will take it lightly, shoot something back, but also register the fact that YOU said it. Keep that in mind.

I'm probably gonna post again later when I've got the last set of results and talked to a few of the team members...