KWEBGRGBEIRGBOIJINTERNETTTT

Good grief.

This evening, I sat down with Eli after having spent a lot of my day with a book that I rather dislike (hello econs textbook) and as I was happily going through the routine, the internet cut out.

"That's alright," I thought.

After all, my internet does weird things once in a while since I'm so far away from the box. I figured it would just fix itself like it does usually.

A few attempts later, and I wasn't feeling so confident.

Nothing wanted to cooperate.

I went down to ask Alex to give it a look, but after one shot at it, he gave up and told my dad to call TM. I kept going because I wanted to have it back. I unplugged wires, pushed reset buttons, rearranged the boxes because some of them were getting hot, refresh, refresh, refresh. NOTHING.

By this point, my adrenaline was pumping.

Beyond frustrated, I went to go ask dad how the call went. Turns out, he didn't have the number so he hadn't called yet. I went to get him the number. Brought it back up.

"Okay, I'll call in a bit." he said.

He was looking at his phone the entire time, so I went over to go see what he was doing.

He was playing Bejeweled.

Now, I don't fault him at all for this. I've plenty a time ignored my parents in favour of playing Bejeweled. But at that point in time, I was so mad at the whole situation that I was annoyed at that. I was warned not to be rude so I quickly left.

Then I got up to my room and took my anger out on the bed.

It doesn't really seem like something to get really mad about, I know. But the whole thing was almost too much to deal with, you know?

Just one bad thing after the other.

Worsened by the fact that I had been looking forward to tonight to reward myself for the afternoon of work.

I'd been planning to talk about all these cool things that happened today and this completely ruined that for me.

To dad's credit, he did eventually call TM but the idiots put him on hold for ten minutes, then cut him off. If I was in his position, I wouldn't have called back after that either.

*sigh*

It was just blow after blow after blow after blow.

Evidently, the internet came back. But that whole incident stressed me out and made me crazy and I'm still kind of reeling. It's probably because the whole thing was so out of my control.

My day started off great.

I'm just really trying to hold onto that.

being woken up twice for that shower was super worth it

This evening, I was feeling real sleepy.

So instead of having a nap, which I was seriously considering, I had a cold cold shower. A complete tooth flossing and brushing, hair washing, body soaping shower in freezing water.

It was amazing.

--

I don't need to clean the stove to wake me up.

Just a cold shower.

Hope you're all well.

:)

carwash

"Is she sleeping?"

"No, she just said she's not."

"Pfft. Yeah, I'M the one talking in my sleep."

"And what is THAT supposed to mean?"

"I don't know. Do you know what YOU do in YOUR sleep?"

*beat*

"KA-RA-TAYYYY."

--

Oh yes, I absolutely needed today.

hug deprived

By 9.30 tonight, everyone in my house that isn't me was asleep.

IT IS SAD AND LONELY IN THIS HOUSE. :(

Soy solo. No me gusta.

you should know

The reason I get upset when this happens is that I feel like I've been cheated out of time with you for no good reason.

That's all.

sports girl of the year

We moved to KL when I was eleven and I was enrolled in a school.

Upon a year at the school, I was introduced to Honours Day. A day where significant achievements of students are recognised in front of the entire school.

The first Honours Day I attended, I was awarded with the title of 'Most House Points Collected' in both my Year and the Lower Secondary divisions. I got two certificates and a plaque for my achievement. I hadn't been working towards this, but it was still a very good feeling.

Plus, the plaque had my name on it.

Which was kind of a bonus.

It was also that year that I discovered that there was an award for Sports Boy/Girl of the year and the second I saw it, I wanted it.

There was no award that I wanted more than that one. Not even the certificates awarded to those who placed first, second and third of their class could tempt me.

There was only one award I had in mind and it was a cheap, shiny, plastic cup.

I started joining more sports teams and getting more enthusiastic during PE classes. I took as many sport related extra curriculars are they'd let me.

Years went by and during Honours season, I'd perk up at receiving the notification letter that was to be taken home to our parents to tell them that their child was receiving something and they should really go see them and look proud while sitting in a hard chair in the hot basketball court. But as my eyes scanned the list and didn't find the award I was looking for, I wasn't excited anymore.

During my Years 8 and 9 I think I managed to sweep four to five awards, no problem. But they weren't the ones I wanted. House points seemed to like me a lot, so I always got something for those.

There were also the Community Project recognition certs that I secured and then plenty more for taking part in this and that with a couple UNSW English paper certificates.

Nothing really spectacular.

Those weren't the awards I wanted.

Nevermind. I kept my head down and continued to work at what I was doing. I went to FOBISSEA. I ran on Sports Day. Took part during the Field Events. I won medals. Never gold. But I was consistent. I played hard and played well. As part of a team and individually.

Then came Year 10.

They changed the format this year. Instead of giving us the list of awards that we won, they gave us a piece of paper that stated that we won something but wouldn't tell us what or how many awards we should expect.

Props to them for keeping everything under wraps. No one really knew what they were getting even after given our seating plans and running through the ceremony a few times.

As the practice runs continued, though, we managed to piece things together.

My seat was next to Brian's seat this year. Brian was THE sportsman from our year, excelling in almost every single PE class we had.

When I found out that I was seated next to him, my belly did a little flop.

Was this the year?

I'd never told anyone about my desire to have that trophy with my name printed on it. I figured it would be too embarrassing to talk about especially if I didn't get it.

So when I was working this out, I was alone in my quest.

During one of the final run throughs, the awards all came out and we found out what it was that we would be getting.

"And for Sports Girl of the Year, Amanda Shiew!"

I think one of my kidneys exploded in excitement.

It was a great feeling that was only intensified on the day itself. The trophy had evolved over the years and was no longer a cup. But It still shined and more importantly, it had my name on it.

And it was the best feeling ever.

Most of you who know me may think that I'm not a big believer in 'hard work pays off'. I do have the tendency to look for the easy way out of things.

But I'll tell you this.

If that school taught me ANYTHING, it is that hard work is rewarded.

Sports was something I was good at. I was good at it and I liked to do well. I wasn't the fastest, or the strongest, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that I put everything I had into every game.

Which is all that mattered.

Which is all that does matter.

Hope you're all well.

:)

NOM NOM NOM

Last night, I was too hungry to properly blog about this. But now I've eaten, it's all good.

--

Yesterday, I went and met up with Cassie, Quek and Willie. (YAY, WILLIAM IS HOME.) We had lunch at a Japanese place. I wasn't eating, because I'd already stuffed my gob but the other three were really hungry.

So naturally, there was talk about getting sushi off the belt after ordering stuff off the menu and then plans for juice and ice cream when we were done with lunch.

I sat quietly sipping my coke and making fun of each of them at regular intervals.

It was kind of awesome.

Anyway, their food arrived (after AGES deliberating over the many choices on the menu) and three bites into her food, Cass decided that she was full.

She powered through, though and managed to finish it.

And by 'finish' I mean 'clean the bowl as much as physically possible without licking it'.

Everyone else finished up and decided that they were too full for more sushi but still wanted gelato.

Of course I was also on the gelato train.

(Who's idiot enough to sit and watch the gelato train go by?)

So we went to get gelato.

Four single cups of gelato and an arm wrestle later, Cassie spotted the nearby Auntie Anne's.

This is a good point to remind you that Cassie was already full IN THE MIDDLE of lunch and had eaten a cup of gelato after that.

Please imagine all following dialogue in CAPITAL LETTERS to have been said in a raptor voice.

"PRETZELS!"

"Are you serious? I thought you were full. You know, just now. At lunch. Before you ate the gelato."

"BUT PRETZELS ARE YUMMY."

"Dude."

"WHAT? I DON'T GET TO GO OUT EVERYDAY. LEAVE ME ALONE."

And then she stomped off and came back with a cinnamon-sugar pretzel and proceeded to look like this for the rest of the conversation.

Haha.

I'd forgotten how entertaining her antics were.

Hems, we missed having you there.

*gurgle*

I am a very hungry hungry hippo at the moment.

Gragh.

my new internet

is really fast but is installed on the ground floor.

my room

is lovely but high up on the third floor.

my legs

don't ache but are shoved uncomfortably against a bookshelf.

and my back

is all proppy and stuff but is starting to ache.

--

If you didn't understand that, it was a short rant (is that an oxymoron?) about the uncomfortablenessness of trying to get a steady stream of internet in my room.

ANYWAY.

I've officially finished studying for ELS. Like, COMPLETELY. It's a nice feeling. Now I'm going to forget about touching it until closer to my exams.

I don't like talking about exams.

I'll stop now.

--

Oh. I made a discovery about myself today.

When I'm not feeling particularly good or am feeling angry about something, I go find a cartoon to watch. No kidding. Any cartoon will do. It's a subconscious thing, I suppose.

I thought I watched cartoons because I found them entertaining.

Turns out there's another reason.

How fascinating.

STOP JUDGING ME FOR WATCHING CARTOONS.

hmph.

Be well.

:)

I AM TOO TIRED TO BLOG TONIGHT

the ghosts scare me when i can't eat them

Mahm says she doesn't remember.

Her subconscious probably forgot it in guilt.

hmph.

It happened. Cross my heart and hope to die.

--

Long day. More tomorrow.

Goodnight.

why i hate geography

On her surprise party.

"But I spoke to you almost everyday!"

"Yeah. I had to live extra hard so I'd have stories to tell."

:)

--

When I was about eight, Mahm and Dad went to visit a couple of their friends one night, leaving Alex and I with the maid at home.

They got back and that morning, I was told about the couple's kid. Mahm was rants and raves about him. The thing she was most impressed with was the fact that he could draw a rather accurate map of the world from memory. In ten minutes.

FROM MEMORY.

And of course, she compared me to him and was like,

"He can draw a map of the world without looking!"

"Uh huh."

"Can you do that?"

"Um. I don't think so."

*pause*

"Okay. Your project for the day is to draw a map of the world. If you think it's too hard, I suppose you can refer to a book."

And then she walked off.

You can only imagine the incredulous look on my face.

After a short protest, I walked briskly (stomping is unbecoming) to my room and pulled out the chair and sat down forcefully.

(If you think these actions are weird, it's evident you have never had to have a silent tantrum before.)

I pulled out a sheet of paper and the giant atlas we own and started my mundane task. It didn't make any sense to me why I was doing that. So the kid was a geographical freak. Good for him. It wasn't really my cup of tea.

I did so much as to put a wonky Greenland and most of North America on the sheet when I was about done with it.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY ISLANDS ARE ABOVE NORTH AMERICA?!?

Yeah, I don't know either. I was guessing.

I showed my mother what I had done and she was like,

"That's nowhere as good as-"

(This is the point where my brain stopped receiving information because it was still swimming with all the lines it just had to translate into hand movements.)

She basically was nowhere near satisfied with it. She scolded me. I stood there. She finished. I walked away.

I threw the piece of paper on the table and crawled up onto the top bunk hoping to never have to ever do that again.

Which is why, I think, I hate geography so much.

The end.

--

Hope you're all well.

:)

days

Nerf gun fight with Adam.

I won.

Hit him in the face.

Very proud?

Yes.

--

I'll be honest with you.

When I thought about this period before the exams where I'd be at home every day studying, putting it off and eating more than my fair share of the house's provisions, I thought I'd hate it.

If it's not evident, I get restless really fast.

But there are some things that this time has taught me.

And I've kind of grown up a bit.

--

Hope you're all well.

:)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

balloons

Today, I was eating dinner with Mahm and Alex. Adam had already finished his, but was still scrounging for food.

Junk food.

So naturally, he was denied it. But boy is that kid persistant.

"Mahm, can I have Olleos?" (Olleos = Oreos)

"No."

"How about potato chips?"

"You already ate half the packet, I think that's enough."

"Well, I only had foh Olleos today."

"No, Adam. If you're still hungry, you can have more vegetables."

This is the part where he started sulking. It is important to note that he was looking in the snack cupboard when he was making his requests. After being denied the deliciousness, he did not stop looking longingly into it.

After about two minutes straight of him not moving from the cupboard, I knew what he was doing. I had two options. I took the one that would make me laugh the hardest.

I quickly swallowed my food, got off my chair, ran and jumped onto the cleared worktop - right into his face. I then grinned evilly,

"Uh oh. I think someone's been caught with their hand in the cookie jar!"

Sure enough, Adam had been sneakily trying to get Oreos out of the packet without drawing any attention towards himself. Little pig.

He looked horrified.

I laughed out loud before saying,

"You know you're the first kid to be caught red-handed."

"I never got caught." Alex said from the table.

"Me neither." I hopped down from the worktop.

"Adam, I said no." mahm said calmly, still eating.

Adam didn't move from where he was. I had sat back down, but after a minute of solid rustling, I jumped up again.

"Dude. You are gonna be so fried if you don't stop."

So then he tottered off to the fridge area. Again, he was gone for a bit when he walked past the table again, all shifty eyed and what not.

"WHAT DID YOU TAKE?"

"Nah-thing."

"Adam, what did you take?" mahm SO knew he was lying. "Open your mouth."

He did.

"See, no one trusts you anymore."

I was in stitches by this point. I was finding this so very funny. Alex too was sniggering from his seat. Mahm was trying to be diplomatic, but she was smiling.

"It's in his right hand." I said.

"Show me." Mahm can be very demanding.

"It's juss dis." Adam held up two bright orange objects.

"This is play-doh." Mahm sounded incredulous. "NO WAIT, THEY'RE BALLOONS."

Adam looked at her blankly. Of course it had to be me to break the silence.

"You were gonna eat

balloons?"

--

The poor child, starving to the point of depending on latex for nutrition...

Haha.

Hope you are all well and have been fooding on healthier things. Balloons have absolutely NO fibre. Tsk tsk.

:)

and the reaction

Husna Qureshi: i'm so glad my problems are a source for amusement for you.

Amanda Shiew: hahaha

Amanda Shiew: thanks

Amanda Shiew: for the amusement, that is

Haha.

:)

haha, sna

Husna Qureshi: wow, the movie was made in 1918

Amanda Shiew: WOW

Amanda Shiew: THEY HAD CAMERAS THEN?

Husna Qureshi: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT

Husna Qureshi: looking it up

Amanda Shiew: TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS

Husna Qureshi: its a silent film

Amanda Shiew: oh wow

Husna Qureshi: i kinda want to watch it

Amanda Shiew: you have a problem

Husna Qureshi: i know

--

Hope you're all well.

:)

Today has been a long day.

Which means tonight will be a good rest.

:)

a conversation

"Adam?"

He looked up from the birthday card he was making,

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever get sad?"

He paused for a moment and then replied.

"No."

I sighed. I kind of knew that was gonna be his answer. I don't know what I was hoping for. Maybe a secret trick to being happy. Kids always seem to hold the answers to these kinda things.

I decided to push for a bit more.

"Why d'you suppose that is?"

He shrugged as he went back to his colouring.

"Why should I be sad? All my friends are nice to me."

And then it hit me.

Hit me in the face like the fourth pillar of the Taj Mahal.

For Adam, happiness is a constant state of being. He doesn't exist neutrally, expecting things to make him happy and then going back to neutral when they go away.

He's just happy.

He lives happy.

And that's how I want to live too.

"my name is LaQweesha."

After a half hour conversation with Alex, we came to the conclusion that he is actually a black woman named LaQweesha.

And then he brought McDonald's home for me.

I love him.

--

I've had a good day. Productive one.

There is no other force on earth that could've got me into a library to study, actually study, for five hours.

Here's a secret.

I'm usually stingy with my gum.

:)

Hope you're all well.

the kite runner

"What does that mean, 'fascinating'?"

I laughed. Clutched him in a hug and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"What was that for?" he said, startled, blushing.

I gave him a friendly shove. Smiled.

"You're a prince, Hassan. You're a prince and I love you."

i've had a productive day

Pasta.

Pop Tarts.

Productivity.

And a brilliant conversation.

I've had a great day.

Hope you're all alright.

:)

i know that laugh

Today has been a long day.

A good long day, but a long day nonetheless.

:)

sammich

This morning, I woke up seriously craving a sandwich.

Mahm had texted that she was going to be out with Adam at a party and that she would bring home lunch for me later. I said that it was fine.

Just now, she texted me asking what I wanted to eat.

I called her back.

Mahm: Hello?

Me: Hi.

Mahm: Hi. So what do you want to eat?

Me: Uh. Where are you? (I want a sammich)

Mahm: I'm in OneU.

Me: Oh okay. What's convenient? (I want a sammich)

Mahm: I'm in the new wing, so you can just let me know..

Me: Okay. Cool. (I want a sammich)

*pause*

Mahm: How about a sandwich?

*VICTORY DANCE*

Me: Yes, that would be good. Thanks mahm. :)))

--

That last smiley is fat because he ate too many sammiches.

His fault.

Hope you're all well.

:)

stuck in reverse

it was so worth the hunt.

doodle

wobble

I'm getting really restless at home.

Today, I took the bike out again this evening because I was almost dead from sitting in the living room for so long.

So I took the bike out for half an hour.

OF COURSE the front wheel started deflating as I left the house.

It wasn't that bad, so I kept going. And I purposely went up as many inclines as possible just so I could get the most out of the ride. It was oddly calming.

And when I got home, my legs felt like jelly.

wobble wobble wobble.

Hope you're all okay.

:)

why, of course, sir.

Me: *walks into parents' room to deliver iPad*

Adam: Can you put this on the table? *hands me cup of milk*

Me: *puts it on the table*

Adam: And can you give me the cup of milk?

Me: *gives him the cup of milk*

Dad: Oh, and can you pass me the bible from underneath the table?

*looks at him incredulously*

Dad: And then can you go sit in the corner and wait for your next instruction?

HAHA.

And then I passed him the bible went downstairs to fill Adam's cup with water and brought it back up and handed it to him. Then I grabbed my computer and bolted from the room before they could ask me to do anything else.

Alex was sitting at the computer.

Oh no.

Alex: Can you help me with something?

your psychotic laughter does nothing to comfort me

"It used to be like that with you, you know?"

"And now?"

"Now it's okay."

"Yeah, because I remind you."

*beat*

"Yeah. :)"

--

Seeing you smile like that can make my day.

--

Jazz got a haircut today.

Hee. Her fur was cut so short that you can now see her skin, kinda. She's pink-tinged. I've decided that this totally makes up for her attacking the chickens.

I'm automatically sympathetic to things that are unfortunate looking.

Everytime I see her, I kind of chuckle a little.

Thinking about it now makes me want to go down and look at her so I can chuckle some more, but I'm tired.

And my butt hurts.

I WENT CYCLING TODAY.

I don't think you understand how exciting this actually is for me. Cycling kind of brings back memories of my bike being my only mode of transport. When we lived in Malacca, it felt like I was on my bike more often than I was in our car.

We've already given away most of our bicycles.

The only two we have left are Adam's little one with training wheels still attached and Alex's BMX. Yes, both these bikes are below average size.

So, I pumped up the front tyre of the BMX and took it for a spin. It was cool. I got so excited, I almost got hit by a car. Do you know how many people neglect to indicate when they are turning?!?!

It's really quite irritating.

Especially if you're trying not to get hit by a large vehicle that could kill you. People should be more considerate.

Just saying.

But yeah.

That's where I went this evening. For half an hour. Just around and around, getting weird looks from strangers because I looked like a clown on the tiny bike. It was really nice.

And now my butt hurts because bicycles make these seats that are meant for steel butts. I don't understand.

Every time I cycle after not having done so for a while, the seat gets me.

Waking up tomorrow will be an experience.

Haha.

Hope you're all well.

:)

"you look like a panda."

Well, I kind of feel like one, so I guess that works out then, eh?

I think the best way to describe this is having clouds behind my eyes. Clouds that are saying "sleeeeep" over and over again in a chanty voice.

Stupid clouds.

I have stuff to do.

--

I've had a really good weekend.

Thanks for sharing your limited time with me.

:)

i drew this myself