Saturday, 9 February 2008

It's Not Default

What am I talking about?



Because people are taking it for granted.

By taking things for granted, an individual just proves that he/she does not appreciate what he/she has. I'll take the simple food example. If I rejected a plate of food just because I wasn't in the mood for that specific type of food, I would be taking my meal for granted. It doesn't take all that long for someone else to come along and take my plate away. Keep this analogy in mind as you read on. It may sound cliche, but it's a good example.

Friends are a blessing. No one can go through life without them. They are there to keep you sane and to keep you going even after you think it's all over. Some can even become as close as family.

Why do I think friendship is taken for granted? Well, because I use my eyes and can see how other people act. I see that sometimes, people think that once you have a friend, that's it. It's set in stone, they'll be your friend forever, it's default. Sad truth is. It's not. Friendship is NOT default.

Just because you are close to someone, and can call them a good friend, doesn't mean that they are gonna be that way forever. Especially if you act unpleasant to be with. For example, whining and complaining is not something that anyone has to deal with. Sure, your friend will understand more than any other person, but if you keep whinging, they aren't gonna enjoy being around you anymore.

When you are in a friendship, it's usually because you can bring something to the table. Initially, it would be something like good conversation or good company. In some cases, it develops to providing support and advice. It can develop further to a strong bond between people. But just because it gets here, doesn't mean that the bond cannot be broken.

Once you think you can just fall back on your friends because they will always be there, you have got it muddled up. Yes, they will be there, but not if you give them reason not to. I can't express the frustration I feel when a 'friend' thinks it's okay to keep yapping about how unfair life is. In cases like this, the 'friend' is probably thinking more of their own needs and has forgotten that you live in this world too.

They may not realise it, but they are pushing that plate of food closer and closer to another person who would willingly shovel it down his/her throat. Sure, a few millimetres seem like nothing, but when you put a couple hundred of them together...well, you've almost pushed the plate off the table. And remember, the other person can easily lean across, and just take the plate from you.

Popular people with many 'friends' are the ones that mostly fall prey to this. But I'm not saying that it doesn't happen in small circles too...(I can attest to that). It's either, 'oh, there are so many of them, it's okay if I just lose one doesn't matter' or 'they will always be there for me to go back to'. WAKE UP CALL. Not happening doesn't work like that.

Not to say that having many friends is a bad thing. It's just more important to have quality friends that quantity friends. And when you do have quality friends, not to take them for granted.

Some have what we call, face value friends. They are there just for the sake of making you look good or just because they are there. The friendship doesn't run deeper than that. What's the point then?

You have to work to keep your friends around. They have to be able to see you contributing SOMETHING to the friendship. Otherwise, they don't have a reason to stick around any longer. Don't give them reasons to get up and walk out the door.

If your friend is forgiving and keeps lingering around the doorway, waiting for an excuse to stay in the room, give it to them. You have a chance, USE IT. If not, then you are a really are a selfish person.

'We are surrounded by angels. But sometimes, they don't have wings and we call them friends.'

The plate of food is right there. You can reach out and grab it, or you can push it away because the next meal will be coming along soon. Lets throw a wrench in the machinery. Say that that next meal never does come. I bet you're wishing you grabbed that plate of food and ran with it, right? But it's too late now, and you have to suffer the consequences.

No two people are the same. Once you lose a friend, you will never find someone else exactly like them. Why would you want to throw something so special away? Especially when it comes to a close friendship. It would forever leave that 'what if' in your mind. What if I hadn't complained so much? What if I had thought about his/her feelings more? What if I hadn't been so selfish?

Do you seriously want to burden yourself with thoughts like that for the rest of your life?

I know I wouldn't. This is something that has been frustrating me for a while. Mostly because I have and have been dealing with it. It's become so evident that I have to get it out of my system.

I think, in this situation, we have to adapt this concept:

Grabbing food (friends) at any given opportunity, savouring every single bite and not letting a single bit go to waste.

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