Wednesday 1 July 2009

Watch your mouth oh oh oh

Hello, interweb.

I don't have a hugely exciting day to talk about.

But I do have an incident to talk about. And yes, I'm gonna be a bit serious. So if you're not in the mood for that, I suppose you could just skip over this entry and wait for the next one to show up.

Everything I'm gonna talk about at the moment happened on one of those days. You know, when you wake up and you can't find the energy to physically pull yourself out of bed?

Yeah.

I had been sneezing a lot and was on Panadol Cold & Flu (which makes you SOOOOO sleepy, it's ridiculous). But I had to stay awake. I was going out.

Needless to say, I was irritable. My body felt like deadweight. My head was spinning slightly, and I wanted to crawl under a rock to die.

Still. None of this excuses what happened next.

I used my crappy mood to license my actions. I started getting unnecessarily mouthy with everyone. It was uncalled for, and I really should have kept myself in check.
I crossed the line more than a couple of times.
This is not something I am proud of.

Waking up the next day was worse.

I thought about everything that had gone down, and couldn't help but hate myself a little bit.

You can't take back words, and though I didn't say anything particularly spiteful, I wish I could've kept my mouth shut. I was just taking my frustration out on my friends.

All that comes out of this experience is me feeling like a bad person and other people being rightfully mad at me.

So next time round, I plan to keep my mouth shut.

It's not worth it.

[I was gonna sign off with the purple smiley face, like I do usually, but I somehow don't see that as being appropriate.]

Hope you're well.

manda

--

P.S. I have, since, apologised. I don't feel any better about it.

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