sam 'scrumptious' schmidt shiew

There is a new addition to the family.

His job is to replace me when I go.

His name is Sam.

But we all call him Scrumptious.

No, he is not for eating.

:)

meet jeffrey

Guys, this is Jeffrey.

He is freaking awesome.

I stole him from my dad.

He's happier with me.

I HAVE NEW TEETH

This is the post in which I am going to blatantly ignore the fact that I have not blogged in more than a week.

Oh wait..

..whoops.

--

IN OTHER NEWS:

I HAVE NEW TEETH.

Or rather, just a new tooth.

I'd take a picture of it, but I'm actually sitting in The Coffee Bean and popping out my denture at the table, taking a photo of it, and popping it back in would be, as my mother would say, quite unbecoming.

So instead I'll just tell you about it and how awesome it is to talk with my mouth wide open to show it off.

Though it's done so well no one actually notices it.

Hmph.

That is all.

Hope you're well.

:)

calamity magnet parts iii and iv

I have rashes.

They go from my face to my knees and they tingle with the intensity of a million ants running all over.

And on Sunday, I threw up a caterpillar.

I think he was living in my caesar salad. He made me real sick before I spewed him. I was too sick to take an actual photo of him, so please accept this poorly drawn cartoon of him as a substitute.

So yeah. Hope you're well.

:)

--

P.S. It's hard to take yourself seriously when you're frowning like that at the camera for long enough for photobooth to take the shot.

THE GREAT TOOTH EXTRACTION

[WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS GRAPHIC MATERIAL AND IS NOT SUITED FOR THOSE WITH WEAK STOMACHS. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.]

Hello.

Here is the post that you have been (or at least SHOULD have been) looking forward to:

The morning was uneventful because I was sleeping it away. My appointment was at two, and I got out of bed at half past twelve. Heh.

I spent my time in the waiting room chatting it up with with the receptionist and my gramma who was there to pick up her new dentures.

But that's not what you want to know.

What you want to know happened in the dentist's chair.

Now, I'd never met this dentist before. My usual dentist, Dr. Ling, in this clinic is on maternity leave so she left me with another dentist. Dr. Amy. Dr. Amy was very nice and we had a quick little chat about the whole procedure and what was gonna happen and then she started getting ready.

And of course she was getting ready behind me.

So I tried to see.

And mahm was outside parking and thought that it would be a good idea to start texting me repeatedly during this very stressful time.

I try to stay calm during dental procedures, but my brain betrays me and makes my palms clammy and my face wince involuntarily.

Normal extractions usually require two numbing injections.

But not mine.

NOPE.

I needed four straight up.

And then another three as the procedure went on.

Dr. Amy said it's because the tooth had been chronically inflamed for so long.

For those of you who don't know of the root canal tooth, it's kind of a legend. I had it done when I was thirteen and then it was maintained for five years. It was a weak tooth, undoubtedly, but it was strong enough to act normally for the longest time.

And then it cracked.

No, I was not chewing on rocks. I don't know what it was. It just cracked. And it cracked down the middle. So it HAD to be taken out.

The top came off easy.

The crown. The part you can see.

But the root?

It was as stubborn as I am.

What the dentist eventually had to do is drill/crush it to small pieces and then fish the pieces out with a pair of tweezers.

It took an hour.

And was a ridiculous experience.

But now extractions can never make me nervous again.

And here is a photo of the remains of that traumatic day.

Hope you're well.

:)